Bearing Arms

Today we celebrate our Bronze Anniversary. Nineteen years married and it’s like we’ve only earned third place. Really? Only third place? After you made that tearful trip alone to the breast center in December, rushing my mammogram history films there like you were a first responder to your wife’s side, trying to save her life?... Continue Reading →

This is Life

Four months ago today, I found out I had breast cancer. I feel like I’ve lived the span of decades in those few short months because walking to the grave and back is exhausting. But, regardless of how old I feel, I only turn 45 today. A year ago, I never dreamed Mayo Clinic would... Continue Reading →

Lose Yourself

With the gift of breath filling our lungs, we’ve cried our I love yous. With the gift of strength enabling our hands, we’ve built and bolstered a family. With the gift of endurance pushing us through, we’ve pulled closer together. With the gift of time beating in our chests, we’ve made good on our promises.... Continue Reading →

When Your Body Breaks

At forty-four, I’ve gotten used to a growing number of aches and pains. Sometimes I can trace them back to what I did the day before and sometimes I can only attribute them to the fact that my body is aging. Having cancer hasn’t really changed the way I see my body, but it has... Continue Reading →

When I Am Afraid

Over Christmas break, our family spent an afternoon downtown at the Cummer Museum of Art. Although the afternoon together was lovely and seeing artistic excellence is always inspiring, the artwork pictured above has haunted me for the past few weeks. Amid the various artistic styles, this one, I wish, were a little more abstract. But... Continue Reading →

The Gift No One Wants

I was probably 6-years-old when I received a jogging suit in a Christmas gift exchange between my mom’s friends and their kids. To say I was disappointed in receiving something to wear versus something to play with is an understatement. Much to my mom’s embarrassment, I couldn’t (or chose not to) hide my disappointment. My... Continue Reading →

Linked In: The Resume of God’s Servants

The world had just survived the turn of a new millennium, leaving people wondering what they were going to do with all those unneeded canned goods and jugs of water they’d hoarded in their basements or Y2K bunkers. Like most other young adults whose optimism and naiveté deemed anything catastrophic practically impossible, we barely noticed... Continue Reading →


The drive from Michigan to Ohio that Sunday afternoon, 10 years ago, wasn’t ideal by myself with two little ones. I kept the volume low to avoid waking up the nappers, so I strained to hear Sandra McCracken’s lyrics, prayed, then passed around snacks, and started videos. My mom would call with updates of how... Continue Reading →

Keep Your Eyes Open

To see you then as I see you now, our young, untested love couldn’t handle it. To see how nearly 17 years can take and toss two lives together like dirty laundry on the high spin, heavy soil, hot wash cycle of a machine, leaving us dizzy and hung out to dry. “Keep your eyes... Continue Reading →

Ponderings from a Pierced Heart

We hold our babies, swaddle them, sing to them. We study their hands unwrapping their fingers grip on ours, wondering if they’ll be able to palm a basketball or reach an octave on the piano. We love to dream of their potential. We pray for them. But every mother knows we can verbalize only a... Continue Reading →

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